“OK! Where’s the camera? Oprah? Montel? Where are they? Where’s the camera? You’re kidding right?”
I burst out laughing. Because she was seriously looking all over the restaurant for the camera crew to come running down the isle like on PUNKED.
“No. I’m serious. You’re the one I want. I love you.”
That’s when she knew I was serious. And that’s when she also got terrified. Because she knew that our relationship was about to change from that day forward.
She couldn’t eat anymore. Neither did she have anything more to say. So we packed up the rest of her food and left the restaurant. I pick up my clothes from my mom’s house and took her home. She was pretty much silent. I was feeling happy and confident…like I had finally found the woman of my dreams.
In the following week, we talked every day on the phone…something we never did before. We underwent daily rounds of intense discussions. Although we knew each other, we had never talked to each other with the intention of marriage in mind. Our talks were more like negotiations about what we each wanted, expected, and required in a relationship.
Exactly one week later, Saturday September 28, 1996, I was heading over to Bernie’s apartment. I was listening to a tape by Louis Greenup about fathers handing their daughters over in marriage to men that aren’t qualified for marriage. He was making the analogy that…handing your daughter over to a man that has not been properly trained to be a husband is like allowing her to get on a plane with a pilot that has not been trained to fly. I found the analogy interesting – given where I was in my life at the time.
When I arrived at Bernie’s apartment, I told Bernie about the message I was listening to. When I finished explaining it, she looked directly at me and very deliberately said,
“Do you know how to fly the plane?”
“Yes. I’m just waiting for a co-pilot.” I quickly replied.
She paused for a moment. “Okay. Let’s do it.” I jumped up and down on her bed and gave her the biggest hug…quietly thanking God for an answered pray.
Within the course of one week, we went from being close friends and co-workers, having never dated one another, to being engaged to be married. One year later, we were married on October 10, 1997.
Sixteen years later, as we celebrate our anniversary, we are still best friends. I still love her, and she loves me. Happy Anniversary Bernie…the love of my life.
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What a beautiful Godly example!! The Cooks love yall::)!!
Now THIS is some love story! And here I was thinking my hubby and I had the all-time love story LOL This was beautiful Heath. Congratulations and happy anniversary to you and Bernie!
Thank you for sharing your story! Took maturity to take a leap and discover the best thing for yourself–Bernie! May your wedding be few and your anniversaries be many!
You stated you had “three” women to choose from. So where you just being a player and untruthful about your dating situation or just sleeping with the other two women until you decided to marry your current wife?
Neither. I wasn’t dating anyone of them…and hadn’t dated anyone since high school. They all knew that I had a plan to get married…and I made absolutely no commitment to any of them. And I had been celibate for three years before I got married. But I guess I was still being a player though…just without the sex. And I think not having sex with any of them allowed me to get close enough to all of them without having commit to any of them. I prefer to call that mackin’.lol
Here’s the thing, when I started out on this journey, I didn’t know how I was going. really I didn’t. The list started out at 9 women and it dwindled down to 3. I didn’t start out with 9 because I though I was smooth enough to be able to mack 9 women (okay maybe I did…but) really my thinking was: it doesn’t matter who I choose. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her. See up until that point, 24, I hadn’t let anyone get close to my heart because it got broken when I was in high school. So I knew when it came time to open up the flood gates of my heart again…to someone who deserved it…I determined I was going Niagara Falls of whoever she is. So to me, it didn’t matter who she was, or how close or disconnect we were before I made up my mind. I was going after and I was going to get her.
And 16 years later…she’s still here.
I really enjoyed your sharing of you and Bernie and only pray that my life story will continue to be as flourishing as yours.
Thanks Pamela.
Wow this is amazing!!! It almost brought tears to my eyes. This is a story that I would only believe existed in my dreams. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness and love. Any by the way, why didn’t you tell your cruise consultant you’re a relationship expert?! 🙂
Beautiful story, thank you for sharing. This generation is in desperate need of examples like yours.
Thanks Joanna. I appreciate you words of encouragement.
Yay happy wigginaversary