I asked some of the married men I respected at church how they knew that their wife was ‘the one’. They all basically said the same thing, ‘you’ll just know’. Well that helped! I prayed about it. And prayed some more. This was the most important decision I had ever made in my life. The end of the month was getting closer. Finally the Lord answered my prayers.
Two distinct incidents happened with the other two women that were deal breakers for me. Meanwhile, Bernie and I were becoming closer. It became clear…my co-worker, my once confidant, the woman of my dreams, was sitting right next to me at work for the last two years. She was the one.
Now…the only thing I had to do was convince her to marry me.
So one Saturday afternoon, I called her and told her to get dressed because I was coming over to pick her up. I had to go over my mom’s house to wash clothes and I wanted her to come with me (hey…I didn’t have a washer/dryer in my house back then…what-are-you-gonna-do). Reluctantly, she agreed.
On my way to my mother’s house, we pass right by my dad’s house. So I stopped by dad’s house just to say hi. I introduced her to my dad. Then we went over to my mother’s house, where she met my mom. That was the first and only time I have ever introduced my parents to any woman since my girlfriend in high school.
We hung out at mom’s house while I washed a load of clothes. It was getting late and I was hungry. I knew she was hungry too.
“Come on. Let’s go get something to eat. I haven’t fed you yet.” I nonchalantly said. She had a puzzled look on her face.
“When has it been your responsibility to feed me?” she thought to herself. But she dared not say anything. She didn’t want to mess up a free meal. So I took her to a restaurant for dinner. While we were eating, I felt like I was standing outside a double-dutch rope looking for the right time to jump in. Finally I saw an opening. She started talking about wanting to look for a job in our Ft. Worth facility so she can be closer to her mother in California.
“You can’t do that.”, I said all cool, calm, and collected.
“Why?”, she asked as she looked up with a puzzled look on her face.
“Because you’re the one. You’re the one I want. I’ve prayed about it. And you’re the one I want.”
She’s frozen. I let that sink in.
“Now I’m not asking you to marry me right now. That’s too much for you to handle. But I am letting you know my intentions to enter into a relationship with you that leads towards marriage.” I said with the utmost conviction.
She’s still frozen. And she knew I wasn’t playing. She knew about my plan. She knew about my timeline. And she saw me transform into being a man of my word. So if I said something, she knew I meant it.
Suddenly she starts frantically looking around the restaurant, under the table, behind her, and around corners. Then blurts out…
Follow
What a beautiful Godly example!! The Cooks love yall::)!!
Now THIS is some love story! And here I was thinking my hubby and I had the all-time love story LOL This was beautiful Heath. Congratulations and happy anniversary to you and Bernie!
Thank you for sharing your story! Took maturity to take a leap and discover the best thing for yourself–Bernie! May your wedding be few and your anniversaries be many!
You stated you had “three” women to choose from. So where you just being a player and untruthful about your dating situation or just sleeping with the other two women until you decided to marry your current wife?
Neither. I wasn’t dating anyone of them…and hadn’t dated anyone since high school. They all knew that I had a plan to get married…and I made absolutely no commitment to any of them. And I had been celibate for three years before I got married. But I guess I was still being a player though…just without the sex. And I think not having sex with any of them allowed me to get close enough to all of them without having commit to any of them. I prefer to call that mackin’.lol
Here’s the thing, when I started out on this journey, I didn’t know how I was going. really I didn’t. The list started out at 9 women and it dwindled down to 3. I didn’t start out with 9 because I though I was smooth enough to be able to mack 9 women (okay maybe I did…but) really my thinking was: it doesn’t matter who I choose. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her. See up until that point, 24, I hadn’t let anyone get close to my heart because it got broken when I was in high school. So I knew when it came time to open up the flood gates of my heart again…to someone who deserved it…I determined I was going Niagara Falls of whoever she is. So to me, it didn’t matter who she was, or how close or disconnect we were before I made up my mind. I was going after and I was going to get her.
And 16 years later…she’s still here.
I really enjoyed your sharing of you and Bernie and only pray that my life story will continue to be as flourishing as yours.
Thanks Pamela.
Wow this is amazing!!! It almost brought tears to my eyes. This is a story that I would only believe existed in my dreams. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness and love. Any by the way, why didn’t you tell your cruise consultant you’re a relationship expert?! 🙂
Beautiful story, thank you for sharing. This generation is in desperate need of examples like yours.
Thanks Joanna. I appreciate you words of encouragement.
Yay happy wigginaversary