I don’t know if Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé or not. But if…Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé…if you can’t be satisfied with one of the baddest chicks on the face of this earth…then there’s something inherently wrong with you.

Truth be told, there’s something inherently wrong with all of us. I’ve never cheated on my wife. But it’s not that I couldn’t. I just told myself when I was single that I didn’t want to cheat on my wife – whoever she would be. But after I got married, I realized that…just because my wife looks good – doesn’t mean Becky-with-the-good-hair doesn’t.

As a happily married man for 18 years, natural attractions to and for other women can’t be stopped. But they can be managed. So I implemented a fail-safe measure to prevent myself from cheating. I cock-block myself. (Forgive the crassness, but dudes get-it… and need to understand what I’m saying).

The bible warns me not to put ‘any confidence in my flesh’. Meaning, ‘don’t think I can withhold myself from something I physically want, but shouldn’t have’. Given my background, if I’m in the right environment…or in the right situation, I could possibly cheat on my wife. I don’t kid myself by thinking I’m strong enough…or my love runs deep enough…to not do it. Many men have fallen prey to that false confidence. So I cock-block myself and stay away from these four things.

1. Stay away from familiar environments. House parties were my thing. Add some Jungle Juice and drinking games…it was on-and-poppin’. Now married, I cock-block myself by staying away from those environments. They’re too familiar. I’ll likely go into auto-pilot and revert back to my single days. I’d like to believe I wouldn’t. But I don’t want to find out I can’t.
2. Stay away from tempting women. There have only been a handful of attractive women I’ve met since I’ve been married that I prayed, “Lord, please don’t ever let me see her again”. And I meant it. Something about them made me ponder things a happily married man shouldn’t be pondering. So I cock-block myself by avoiding interaction with them. To some, this may seem drastic. But I don’t put any confidence in my ability not to charm, woo, or unleash this mack-game I’ve spend years suppressing.
3. Stay away from your mischievous friends. You’ll be friends for life. But some of your friends need to be quarantined to that past life…not your future. Because they have a way of talking you into being who you were back-in-the-day. You can still be friends, but cock-block yourself by refusing to meet up with them in Vegas…or the club…like you use to when you were single.
4. Stay away from tempting places. One of my wife’s friends invited us to her 50^th birthday trip to Brazil. “OH…HECK…NAW! I’m not going.” I told her. “The thick-ery…that complexion…those bikinis…is way too tempting for me. I can’t do it.” She was like, “You’d mess up your marriage just for one night with some woman?” “No! That’s why I’m not going.” Meaning, ‘I don’t know what would happen if I went.’ My wife felt some kinda way about that. But I don’t care! I don’t put any confidence in my flesh that I won’t pull a Richey from Harlem Night, and be like “Look-it…I ain’t never coming home no more. Take it easy.” So if I have to avoid a country full of tempting women, all she needs to do is respect it and appreciate the fact that I love her enough to cock-blocked myself by not going in the first place.

Every husband has his own weaknesses and temptations when it comes to other women. And we all deal with them in different ways. But whatever you do, have a plan so that you’re never in a situation where you are weakened by the temptation…and you have to rely on your flesh to prevent you from cheating.

#WednesdayWisdom

Don’t think of yourself more highly than you should by putting confidence in your flesh to prevent you from cheating. Cock-block yourself to make sure you’re never in a situation for it to happen.

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