The Brand New Direction for HLHT & Our Marriage

Previously on HLHT…”If I’m going to continue my business – my purpose – it has to be in a completely different way. I have to integrate connecting with people, connecting people, and doing fun adventurous activities with friends into my business. Or else it’s not worth it.”

When we were having our house built, I redesigned the master bedroom, bathroom, and the plumbing system just to create the perfect shower.

Why? Because I spend anywhere between 30 minutes to 3 hours in the shower. My wife just shakes her head at me. But I don’t care #dontjudgeme. Because that’s where I pray, meditate, and self-reflect on business and life.

At the beginning of 2017, one of my 3-hour shower reflections was to better understand the His Leadership Her Trust community. What I realized was the community who reads and comments on my articles follows me because they care about their beliefs, not because of the Bootcamps I offer or the articles I write.

THEY believe couples should enjoy a happy loving trusting relationship. THEY believe Christian men should know how to lead. THEY believe couples should actively pursue strengthening their relationships.

And I am just one of the brands people with those beliefs are drawn to. The products and services I offer, therefore, are merely tangible expressions of their beliefs. That’s why they follow me. It’s not about me. It’s about them.

This might not seem groundbreaking to you. But it was to me. I learned I need to start sharing my beliefs more than promoting the products and services I offer. Then, I’ll attract the people with the same beliefs.

But here’s the kicker…my beliefs recently changed.

As a result of multiple 3-hour self-reflecting showers, I asked myself some tough questions and challenge what I believed about how we help couples. Originally, I believed…if I helped couples fix their communication, trust, and leadership problems, they would enjoy a happy loving trusting relationship. Makes sense…right?

But what about couples who are already happy…like my wife and me…and just want to have fun? What about couples who don’t need counseling because they don’t have communication, trust, or leadership problems? What if all they want to do is remain happy. Or, go from happy to happier? How do they pursue that? Or should their pursuit only start when problems emerge and things turn south?

These questions made me realize that my beliefs were noble, but incomplete. I created a system to help couples pursue happy loving trusting relationships by focusing on fixing problems. But I neglected to build a system that supports couples who don’t have problems, but who just want to enjoy each other, have fun, and be happy. Acknowledging this gap is why I changed my beliefs.

Therefore, I now believe that couples should enjoy a happy loving trusting relationship by fixing their communication, trust, and leadership problems AND/OR creating a supportive community where couples enjoy one another, have fun, and connect with other like-minded aspirational couples who share similar Christian relationship values.

When I look back at what Bernie and I did in the beginning of our marriage, 19 years ago, we developed a strong bond by doing both of these things…without even knowing it. We worked on our early struggles with communication, trust, and leadership. We had an accountability couple that we submitted to when we had problems we couldn’t resolve.

But we also did a lot of fun things together. We used to take long weekend road trips. We went bike riding on the bike trail by National Airport in DC. We went hiking and camping. We built strong relationships with other newly married couples at church who shared similar Christian relationship values. We hung out with those couples a lot. And we are still tight to this day.

The Brand New Direction for HLHT & Our Marriage

Researchers have shown that there’s something unifying, inspiring, and encouraging when like-minded aspirational couples build high-quality connections, exchange information, and share a moral responsibility to similar family values. And that’s the new direction we are going to take in 2017…both the brand, His Leadership Her Trust, and our marriage.

For couples who don’t have problems but want to enjoy each other, have fun, and be happy, we’re going to build a community of like-minded aspirational couples who understand the benefits of building high-quality connections with other couples who share similar Christian relationship values.  And we’re going to have fun while doing it.

Additionally, Bernie and I are going to pick up doing what we used to do years ago…road trips! But we’re doing it completely different this time. Instead of us picking where we’re going and what we’re doing, we’re putting our fate in the hands of our community and let you pick what cities to visit, what sites to see while there, which diner, drive-in, and dives to hit up, where to stay, etc. We’ll somehow create a way for yall to track our progress as we lead up to the trip and while on the road. If we visit your city, hopefully we can meet up with some of you at one of our destinations and connect. Our hope is to make connections and build a community of like-minded aspirational couples in each city we visit.

The first road trip will be in February 2017. We’ll provide more details later. But how does that sound? Are you willing to help us build this community of like-minded Christian couples by helping plan our very first road trip?

2009 Roadtrip to Brooklyn, NY for block party & Bootcamp activities with former Relationship Bootcamper.