There’s nothing more beautiful than seeing a couple discover the purpose of their marriage. It’s like they were meant to be together…to fulfill a purpose greater than themselves.
Just look at the lives of our beloved trailblazers Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, the creators of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. It’s clear they’re on some type of Apostle Paul-like missionary assignment to proselytize the world with positive images of black families.
And couples, like my wife and I, who’ve peeped their game, highly respect the great work they’re doing and are darn proud of them.
God’s 3 Purposes for Every Marriage
Lamar and Ronnie know theirs. BerNadette and I know ours. But do you know the purpose for which you got married?
Raising your children is just one of them. That’s that “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” portion of Genesis 1:28.
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” ESV
But what about the “subdue it” (take control of) and “have dominion” (to rule over) every living thing…portion.
Oh yeah! You ain’t know that there’s a specific God-given purpose for every Christian marriage? Each marriage is responsible for filling the earth, taking control of something, and/or ruling over something…all in accordance to God’s master plan.
And you thought you got married because he/she made you happy!?
“Bye Felicia!”
So again…do you know the purpose for which you got married…or the purpose why you will get married? If so, here’s my advice: continue pursuing purpose…not the money, resources, or people needed to carry it out. God will fund his vision and supply the resources and network needed…not you. You just be about hustlin’ and grindin’…prepare yourself, make bold plans, and trust God to help you execute them. For, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).
God Doesn’t Trust You
If you don’t know your purpose, it’s because God doesn’t trust you yet.
Before Jesus was even given the power to turn water into wine and “keep the party going” (a la D.L. Hughley), he first had to go through God’s testing process. Likewise, before God grants you the wisdom of His master plan, you have to go through God’s testing process.
So don’t think for a second that God will reveal His master plans to a couple that hasn’t been tested and proven themselves mature enough to handle the finances, resources, and people required to accomplish their purpose.
So What is God’s Testing Process?
Behold! The five-steps of God’s testing process—as outlined in Romans 1:1-2 and James 1:2-4 (review these verses on your own).
- Present Ourselves to God. Because God’s been merciful to us by giving us the same privileges as His chosen people, the Jews, we should make the sacrifice to present ourselves to God as holy and acceptable according to His standards. (Romans 12:1)
- Transform and Renew Our Thinking. We should, therefore, stop conforming to the ways of this world, because we don’t belong to it anymore. Instead, we need to transform and renew our thinking (i.e., our attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and actions) to God’s way of doing things (Romans 12:2a). We do this by reading and studying scripture, praying, and fellowshipping with like-minded people.
- Be Tested by Trials. Then, God will test our newly transformed thinking against the world’s way of thinking…so we can attest that His way is good, pleasing, and perfect for us (Romans 12:2b). These tests will be disguised as trials designed to test the authenticity of our new faith (James 1:2-3; 1 Peter 1:6-7). These test will be many…and of various kinds.
- Develop Perseverance. As a result of these trials, we develop perseverance (James 1:3). My mother calls it stick-to-it-tiveness. Without stick-to-it-tiveness, when the going gets tough, you might get’th thyself up and get thee gone. And that ain’t cool. That’s why God doesn’t trust you yet.
- Reach Maturity. After we’ve developed perseverance, we reach the level of maturity where God can trust us to subdue and rule over the purpose for which he joined us together…in accordance to His ways—not your old ways or the world’s ways. Couples who reach this place are complete. They don’t lack anything they need to accomplish their purpose (James 1:4).
So…those issues you have been going through, or those people and problems that have been bothering you for a while? Yeah, those are pop-quizzes testing the authenticity of your new way of thinking. That issue that keeps coming up over and over again? Yeah, that’s a S.A.T. Prep question in the perseverance section of your life. And that problem you used to struggle with, but now have overcome? Yeah, that’s maturity settling in.
ADVICE:
If you feel like your relationship has a purpose you’re supposed to pursue together other than being married, raising your children, and living happily ever after, determine what step you’re on and intentionally pursue God’s way instead of your own.
What step are you on in God’s testing process?
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