Previously on 7 Days of Sex:
“…around 11:00, she rolled over to go to sleep. “Oh no!”, she exasperatedly exclaimed. “What…you forgot we’re supposed to have sex?” I responded. This led to the beginning of a much needed conversation about sex and its role in our marriage.”
“…either she doesn’t like it…or doesn’t like it with me…”
“…I saw we weren’t going to resolve it that night. It was too late. And at that point, I wasn’t in the mood to check that box.”
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Day 5
Day 5 started off quiet. We both worked from home. And frankly, I didn’t know how we were going to clear the air from the night before in order to make the atmosphere palatable for later that night. Several times throughout the day, Bernie came downstairs from her office to my office to check on me. Sometimes she just sat and we talked about…whatever. Other times she came down to spy on me (she does that sometimes). I think that lightened the mood…at least for me. She even stayed downstairs during lunch (she usually makes her lunch and goes back upstairs to her office.
When I got off work, I knew that if we were going to have sex, then we had to do it early. So while she was making her dinner, I flirted with her. To her credit, she caught herself when she started rejecting my flirtatious advances. The night before, that was one of the issues I brought up that I wished she would stop doing. Bernie has a practice of playfully rejecting my advances…not in a rude way…but in a coy way. But after 16 years of doing this, I kinda question if she’s really kidding.
Nonetheless, she was trying to stop. And actually, her attempt to stop made me feel good. So after she finished making dinner, I asked her if she wanted to venture to the boudoir. It was about 6:30. She agreed without any playful rejection. In fact, her lack of hesitancy and willingness to drop was she was going to do – without a begrudging attitude – made me feel kinda good. So off we went.
Post bliss, we laid there and talked. We brought up some things that were left unsaid the night before. But the conversation was light and informative. I felt we were learning more about each other. The net result I received was that, in order to make sex not feel like a task for her, I’ve got to take some of the tasks away from her to-do list and do them myself…namely cooking my own meals. That’s a hard one because I don’t like cooking. So I have to see how that’s going to work. She also shared that cleaning the bathroom and folding the clothes really helped her too. I just asked her, in the future, not to reward me anymore with some ice cream…instead…just reward me with ‘some’!
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NEXT TIME on 7 Days of Sex:
“…She explained…pushing me away was a habit she practiced because growing up in church all her life…that she’s going to work on.”
“…This time, I felt that we could be even more open with each other without any retribution.”
“…We talked some more…sharing our hearts…I think we are starting to put the pieces together…“
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Keep me posted Brother…..with children, I don’t know about that one:)
Veanie, It can be done. See my response to Allison’s post below. You and Mr. Cook can work it out. LOL
Great post! Been thinking about aspects of this . . . laughing at Davina’s comment! As a fellow parent, it is a challenge in a house with kids! Not impossible, but a 007 challenge! LOLOL!
Of the 3 episodes I watched, there was at least 1 couple in every episode that had children. And they ranged from 1 – 18. They made it work. It was tricky tho. One couple had to buy a lock for their bedroom door and shared bathroom to prevent their 8 yr old son from coming in their room. It helped the mom deal with her attachment issues. And it helped the son learn that he can self sooth and stay in his room without having to come run to mom all the time. So it doable…tricky…but doable.
Yes that was Matthew!!!!
I think it’s great for couples to work on their intimacy while addressing other relationship issues. Like you said sex doesn’t make a marriage, but it certainly helps. And this is something that my husband and I have always kept in mind from the beginning.
Yes it does K. Elizabeth. This is also proving to require us to spend quality time together…not just in the bedroom but leading up to the bedroom.
Now this heading has me reading! LOL. Now that’s what I’m talking about – EVERYDAY!
LOL. The Wiggins have to do some out of the box things to improve our marriage. The regular marriage workshop stuff won’t cut it over here. We’re trying to take it to the next level. And it’s working.
As you know, I am currently single and struggling to be satisfied. I’m a Lady in Waiting, However, I enjoy reading your blog and have encouraged many of my married friends to subscribe. I’m so proud of you and Bernie. I Pray God blesses me with a Love like yours.
Thanks Felicia. I appreciate you support. Praying that your waiting status will change soon.
i think im going to talk to hubby about trying this. only thing is we got 5 kids and a grandma in the house. on top of that he works 10 to 12 hour hour days 5 days a week sometimes more that in it self is gon b a problem.